{ you will always have a piece of my heart Chicago }

We are moving. We are leaving Chicago for good. In two weeks, we won't be calling Chicago our home anymore. We will be from Boston, from Massachusetts. Different zip code, different phone number, different airport abbreviation, even different store chains. It feels surreal, it feels like I am talking about the life of someone else, but it also feels exciting, exhilarating and liberating.

We have been brewing with this decision for a while, but it wasn't until Cass started to interview for his dream job that we decided we would go wherever it takes. When an offer came from Boston, we didn't hesitate for long. I wanted him to do it, it was his time, his moment to pursue his advancement. I have just finished mine and he was there by my side all the war through it. I went to grad school for three years, with a baby at home, he never once questioned my choices, supported me in times of crisis and "I cannot do it" moments, when he had to repeatedly assure me that "yes I could". He took care of everything when I wasn't home or had to study, he was there for me, now it is my turn to be there for him.

So we are going to Boston and I am completely calm about it... Unusually calm which is unusual for me. Of course I am stressing over some of it, but more likely the whole thing I am still suppressing. Maybe I am worried that it will hurt, and I don't want to hurt over these type of things anymore, I don't want to mourn Chicago like I did Warsaw, I don't want to ponder me not being here, I don't want to think about what I leave behind and what will I miss about it.
Once you de-root yourself for the first time, you desperately seek another soil to put those roots back in, to let them feel the ground again and nourish their shriveled identity. Chicago was my first soil, I desperately wanted it to be my home, to feel like I am from here and when asked "where is home" to answer with confidence "Chicago". But also, once you de-root yourself, once you yank your rooted origins, soul and identity out of place, take them far from where they grew for a long time, the next soil doesn't hold you as tightly, you feel like the roots are weaker, closer to the surface and more mobile. I have never felt like Chicago is forever, we never had that kind of relationship, I loved it, I cherished it but it never won my soul over for eternity.

Yet, I feel like a part of me will stay here when I am gone, I have been here almost a decade, this city witnessed me growing up from a little girl that thought is an adult, to an adult that feels like a little girl, w metamorphosis of sorts. The city's widespread horizon sheltered the birth of my two sons, my two Chicago Grey boys. It is stamped into their files as the "place of birth" forever. I don't know about Leo, but Simon will have Chicago running through his veins wherever he goes, he knows this city already, he claimed it as his, his roots are here. And that is the only thing I am worried the most about, is how will he do when we transplant him this early. will it make him richer? will it make him poorer? will he feel weaker in his new soil later on? God I hope he will do fine. I hope I will too, but for now we can just keep one foot in front of the other and see what the future holds.

One thing is certain, we will miss you Chicago, thank you for being such a good sport, even your winters and all, you were beautiful and taught us everything we know about life as a family, we appreciate all the lessons, all the awards and bonuses and all the kicks in the butt and spits in the face. You were a dream regardless and we love you as you are, forever.

Take us out Frank! you say the rest.....

Credits: Mom Bun Life shirt c/o www.heartsandkrafts.com
             Simon's shark pants: Gardnerandthegang

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